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admin
Sternly Sacked, Savaged, and HanNUTized
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 422
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 Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 11:16 am Post subject: Howard's vacations bring out the 'haters...' |
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http://www.tvpredictions.com/howardhd080706.htm
| Quote: | Swanni HDTV Show Review
Howard Stern In HDTV!
The 'King of All Media' fails to conquer High-Definition TV.
By Phillip Swann
Washington, D.C. (August 6, 2006) -- Howard Stern is known as a 'shock jock,' but his new weekly TV show is a shock for the eyes in High-Definition TV.
Howard TV, which airs Fridays at 11 p.m. (ET) on the high-def cable network INHD, is arguably the greatest display of flawed faces since Tod Browning's 1932 film, Freaks.
The 30-minute program (filmed excerpts of Stern's Sirius radio show) is billed as a 'sneak peek' at Stern's pay programming block available on cable's On Demand service. However, this viewer wanted to stop "peeking" and start "sneaking" out of the room about five minutes into the show.
In crystal-clear HD, Stern's face is more shriveled than David Blaine's hands; his neck has more lines than his writers have in their heads these days; and that mop of wooly black hair that envelopes his face looks like something that came out of that mysterious well in The Ring.
Howard Stern on Howard TV
In total, Stern looks a little like Cher -- that is, if you saw Cher two minutes after she first woke up in the morning.
Howard recently underwent plastic surgery to try to improve his oft self-maligned appearance, but he might want to consider filing a malpractice suit. This is the worst abuse of a surgical scalpel since Jack the Ripper roamed the streets of London.
Is that Cher with glasses?
Stern's hard-to-stomach countenance would be less concerning if the show was not overflowing with other examples of how HDTV's candid pictures can be cruel to the common man.
The program opens with a frightening close-up of Stern's longtime producer, Gary Dell'Abate, better known as "Baba Booey." For some inexplicable reason, Dell'Abate is shot at an angle below his chin. It looks like the camera is going to go up his nose and recreate a scene from Fantastic Voyage. But Dell'Abate's nose is a place that even the most dedicated scientist would hesitate to explore.
The extreme close-up of Dell'Abate also serves to emphasize the producer's enormously large teeth, which is a regular topic on the show. I hope Gary deducts his toothpaste costs because, God knows, he must spend thousands every month cleaning those choppers.
Gary Dell'Abate, Howard's longtime producer.
Then later in the program, we are introduced to writer Artie Lange who always looks like he just came from auditioning for the lead role in The John Belushi Story. What a slob! Artie, at least shave once in a while.
Stern writer Artie Lange.
And to make matters worse, Howard TV offers a sprinkling of his 'revolving door' cast of nitwits and miscreants, such as Beetlejuice, a 4-foot, 3-inch man who has a very small head and a very few teeth. How can they show this guy in high-def?! Where's the FCC when you need them?!
Beetlejuice
The final insult is that Howard TV rarely shows you the good stuff -- his interviews with hot babes such as Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra. (Those segments are teased in a commercial to get you to order the pay version of Howard TV.) In last Friday's episode, the INHD version of Howard TV featured boring interviews with Howard's aging limo driver, and bodyguard turned actor, Chuck Zito.
The lone bright spot in the show is that Howard's long suffering foil, Robin Quivers, actually looks good in high-def. Although Quivers is past 50, she looks 10 years younger.
Robin Quivers on Howard TV.
Howard Stern is getting old -- and I mean both his act and his look. And, in high-def, it's abundantly clear.
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You'll have to go to the site to see the pictures. I don't think Beet's been in the studio since Sean's stroke. He called in a couple of times with updates. He might have been at a roast or the Film Festival, though. But, like Howard, Beet can probably always use the publicity. Funny how the 'haters' come out during Howard's vacations.
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"We grow too soon old and too late smart..." quoted by Michael Savage... God Bless America CAN be a sincere prayer... God relieve me of my obsessions to always be right and to SHARE... |
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Lush Rimbaugh
Faithful Listener
Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 126
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| Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 9:33 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Funny how the 'haters' come out during Howard's vacations. |
Exactly!   Howard did say some months ago something about not wanting to see himself on HDTV. |
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NewsGuy
VIP Pod Host
Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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WOW! Wonder if Howard will talk about this article on his show when he comes back.
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